My New Goal

"A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man must seek Him in order to find her."


I really need to learn how to live this.

Hey hey hey!

Momma x 2 is back! For a brief few minutes! Lol. I have been taking care of my two little lovelies who are almost 12lbs each! Yay!

They look so different than they did when they were born, it is crazy! I love my little babies. They are rolling all around, holding their heads up, and 'talking' their heads off! Lol. Taking care of two babies is something else!!

My mom is coming back for a visit...YES!! Lol. Love the help. They sleep thru the night now which is a blessing!

I have happened upon this site called www.swapmamas.com where you can swap things with other mothers rather than paying for things. I love it!!! :) I am a bargain hunting and SAH coupon clipping momma now! For real!!

That is my quick check in for now! I hope all is well with you all! Have to get ready for father's day with my man! :)

Be beautiful and blessed!!

Twinny Twin Twins!!

Hello Blog word!

I have been pretty busy lately. Taking care of my little cuties and working. They were 5.1 and 5.13 lbs when they were born in February and now they are near 9- 10 lbs. I can't believe it! Their features have developed so much and they are starting to try to talk and they smile and laugh so much! I love it! :)

I was singing to them the other day and they were both just staring at me and smiling. WOW. What a wonderful feeling...lol (blushing).

Today is my last day at work...now on to the stay at home life! Trying my best not to worry about finances and the fact that I won't have health insurance....(biting my nails for real). I don't know...any advice??

Anyway, I look forward to being home with them even though I will be TIRED!!! Lol.

I went to a retreat last weekend and slept HARD!!!! LOL! I really needed that to have time to sit and talk to God and reconnect with him. It was also nice to fellowship with other Christian women. What a blessing. I recommend it highly to all of you.

I still missed my babies though!! Everybody kept asking about them...I was like they are doing well :( lol

Just wanted to post a quick update! I hope everyone is doing well and being a blessing!

Keep us in your prayers!!

My pookie poos! lol

I am so tired! Whew! These babies are letting me have it! Well they aren't that bad...let me stop!

They are so precious. I see them changing so much and it has only been a little over a month!

I am getting that feeling of writing a good poem again...ooo wee. God grant me the time to be able to actually sit down and write it!

Thank God for my babe! He is watching the little ones right now. Just went and got a pedicure...a little 'me' time. :) Need to make that a part of my routine.

They are smiling now. It is so beautiful. :) I love it! lol

I am learning more and more what it means to be a mom. I am still in awe that I created these little cuties...wow...paranoid don't want anything to touch or hurt them...lol it is a trip.

I am growing more and more attached every day...got to love this...

Be easy everyone!!

The Countdown...

Sitting here thinking about how I miss blogging and reading blogs. Just visited JAC’s blog. Love it. Wishing her God’s blessing on her journey!!
Need to get back on my spiritual game, for real. Worrying about things that I know God will take care of…a weakness of mine. He has always taken care of me…why do I continue to doubt??

Sitting here with my big belly, lol. The little ones holding strong almost 38 weeks! I am hoping for a safe and healthy delivery for all 3 of us. My little girl is breeched…smh…but we will see what happens come delivery time. It’s getting close!!! Ooo wee!!

I was sitting over here feeling sad and then I started watching This Is It. It is amazing how MJ inspires me even during my pregnancy blues. Lol, love that man’s musicality! Man. I miss performing so much! Thriller! Oh my bad. I’m back.
Want to clean up but these babies have me SOOO tired!!! That sucks! I feel so helpless sometimes…guess I should be happy to have some quiet time and nothing to do…

Keep us in your prayers!!

Any good scriptures on motherhood, please share! Thanks!

~ Be blessed!! ~

What to do now...

So I am on maternity leave now. Trying not to sleep the whole day away! Lol.

Wondering what now and afraid of the labor soon to come...man oh man...(biting my nails...) lol.

Got my hair done so I won't have to worry about that when the babies get here. :)

Not much to say...just stopping by to say hi...

About to go get something to eat! I'm hungry!!

Be blessed everyone!!

Random thoughts of a Mother to Be...

Sitting here with my hand on my stomach. It's acting up a bit this morn...as usual. Lol.
Wishing it would go away...wondering who my little angels will act more like...me or their dad...hopefully me. Lol j/k.

I just think it is amazing that a child (children) are formed in the womb of their mother. When I start feeling down I think about this.
So much going on in my mind...
Will they be born at a good weight, will they be healthy, am I eating enough, will we have enough money...
Can I really do this??
Don't stress girl it's not good for the babies...being pregnant is a trip.

My back was hurting last night and my babe gave me a back rub. Thank God for him! lol

Seems so close, yet far away. I'm scared to give birth shoot! Lol
Have alot of praying to do!!
Ready to take maternity leave though...
Sitting at this desk with the keyboard almost on top of my stomach! Smh...
Can't believe I will be/am the mother of twins. Seems so crazy to me! But it is what it is.
That is enough randomness for now!

Hope all is blessed with you and yours!

Happy Holidays folks! Love ya!

The Day...

This song is really touching me right now. Gives me the guy's perspective a bit. Makes me forget about the sickness and such and just smile....if only for a moment...

:)

New Beginnings! Second post for the evening....

Well I said I have been going through some things this last month well.....let me give you a little clue...

Got it yet!!??? Well yep! That is me....well that is not me in the picture lol but I found out that I have a little one on the way. Lord have I been going through it! Mentally and physically...been sick!!! Had to get some meds to help with that. Thank you Jesus for those!! Lol. Mentally...just trying to figure out am I ready for this?? Am I ready to raise a child???

I know I tend to over stress so my goal right now it to minimize all stress and just pray and let God do the rest. I was feeling really really sad at one time...have to realize my life hasn't stopped, I must keep moving and living. It's not easy but things are getting better each day and my outlook is getting brighter. :) Keep me in your prayers!!

Much love! God bless you!!

Take me away from here...

Sing it John Legend! Lol.

Hello all!

I have been feeling sick lately. I told a close friend of mine and he asked if I think stress is the reason I am always sick. I said yes, I really do. I have been fighting to maintain my sanity and that in itself is tiring and stressful.

This morning I was feeling horrible. I sat on my bed and begin to say to myself all of the things I am grateful for. This really worked for me, thank God! So I went to work.

It has been on my mind for a while, so I have put in a request for vacation. I want to be out by the water!!! :) My funds are pretty low so I probably won't be going anywhere. But I really need a break. Any suggestions on a vacation at home or in your local area that was relaxing ect.?

Thanks!

~God bless.~

Unearthing...

I am so anxious
Sometimes it makes me sick
Scared to believe what may come
I know fear is False Evidence Appearing Real and I am working on reminding myself of that daily
I'm scared of not having control
Even though I really don't have it anyway
Being comfortable is starting to feel way too comfortable to me
I start to picture what I want to be in my mind
Then my thoughts of doubt sneak in and make me feel weird, even bad for thinking about change and upward movement
Like I should stay where I am and settle...continue to be unfulfilled
This is nonsense...


I will work and volunteer where I am giving and living a fulfilled life and helping others to do the same!
I will write a book of poetry and publish it.
I will sing from my heart and love it!
I will dance from my soul and love it!
I will use the talents that God has given me and remember that all things are possible through Him.
I will know that I am a spiritual being having a human experience and not the other way around.
I will learn to be 'in-spirit', I will learn to be 'in-spirit', I will learn to be 'in-spirit'!
I will invision CLEARLY and without wavering what I want in and for my life and move through my fear(s).
I will pray and believe that the things that I want are already here. I will speak them into existence.
I will remove these shackles from my mind and heart and learn to live again!

I deserve to be happy, joyful, and excited about life!
I deserve all of the best and will give the best to others!
I deserve to be free!

What about you?

Peace.

Boy don't you know...

You're my baby...my lover my baby...That song is really in my head right now!

So glad to have a 3 day weekend! Yayyyy!! Rest is SO wonderful lol and God is SO good! I have started taking some classes to get my side hustle on! Wanting to join this church choir. Have to keep my mind and feet moving. Not let my current situation keep me down. Remembering that I am the master of my thoughts and I create my future. I will have what I want if only I believe. I am a beautiful child of God who is capable of ANYTHING! And so are you! ;)

Going to take this time to study and listen to my 4 Day Hour Work Week and 7 Habits of Successful People audio books. Maybe write a little bit.

Did I mention that I love my baby!? Lol, well yes I do. It still scares me sometimes...lol so crazy.


You love me
No thought for yourself
My eyes smile

That's how I feel about him right now, lol.

I inhale
And your love fills me
warming my heart....

Sounds like a poem I need to finish...hmmm.

Hope things are well with you all!

Have a wonderful and restful memorial weekend!!

An Awakening...

Hola mama citas! Did I spell that right? lol

I have been in a semi world wind it seems. Happy , then really sad, then just neutral. It's weird. Dealing with the journey of being in a relationship. Oooo wee. Still love my CRAZY baby though. Lol. I'm learning patience through this journey though.

So anxious about something...ready to jump and move...NOW! But I know God moves in his own time. So each and every day I am working to remember that and hopefully to get rid of this anxiety. For real. Ya'll pray for me please.

I want all of those around me to be prosperous and really love themselves. But the best teacher is a good example. So I am working on eating better and thinking positively. My sistas check out http://thesisterhood.ning.com/ when you have time.

Well I am currently on a 30 day journey to change my life and thought process to things positive. God be with me! I have been reviewing The Secret (by Rhonda Byrne) again and how important it is to have positive thoughts to attract positive things. I sat down and realized that negative thoughts and feelings are part of my life DAILY and that REALLY REALLY needs to change. It just seems so hard because that is what I am used to. It's crazy. So, we will see....

I was telling my home girl how I felt and this is what she said to me:

just always remember whose u are and that he is royalty which makes u royalty
and u are a woman of God and ur worth is far about rubies so nothing is better than you
and that if he be for you he is more than all things against you
remember those things when ur down and u will lift urself right back up

Man I love my friends!!!! :D

I miss my man...haven't seen him this week, probably won't see him until next weekend...that sucks.

See there goes another negative thought! lol

A few words from Ralph:

Yes, you are ready


There is no limit to the number of ways in which you can create real value. Breathe deeply, smile lovingly, and just do it. The moment you're in is plenty. The place where you are is an ideal place from which to move forward. Instead of punishing yourself with regret, delight yourself with the possibilities. Get busy creating and living a beautiful now. Yes, you are ready to be your best. Let go of the doubts and let it happen. You can create your very own future, and you are doing so even now. Take this opportunity to fill it with what you know to be good and valuable and meaningful. There is immense beauty in you that you have not yet seen. Share it with the world and live the joy of discovery as that beauty continues to unfold.

Think a new thought

Think a new thought, and the whole world changes in front of your eyes. Adopt a new perspective, and you enter a new reality. What seems to be out there is precisely your perception and interpretation of what's out there. And as such, you can truly make it whatever you choose. At your core is a purpose that provides an endless source of energy. It is new and bright and sparkling in every moment. Seek to know the truth of that purpose, and notice how it feels so very right. Let it be the lens through which you see all else. Know where you are coming from, and you will know where to go. Know where to go, and you will be there.

-- Ralph Marston

What I'm jammin:

Tell Him - Lauryn Hill


~Have a GREAT weekend!!!~

Knuck if You Buck!

Soooooo my coworker basically tried to tell me my man is ugly without actually saying it. Girrrrrllllll don't you make meeeee....Woo saaaaa!! LOL. The devil is at work I tell ya!

Anyway to the more important thoughts of the day, my hunny bun (lol) will be going to meet the fam this weekend. I is scarrrrrred. Lol.

My sister is having her bridal shower and my precious niece is turning 2! :D I'm a proud auntee!! I didn't make it to her 1st birthday party because I was in an accident so I am pretty excited! Got her some cute little clothes!! :) I love it. Man, little blessings...

I am still jammin the playlist from my previous post in my head!! Lol, yeah...

I have an interview for a poetry documentary tomorrow....little ole me... awwww lol.

So much on my mind! I have been inspiring a few people lately. That really makes me smile. God's blessing flowing down. :)

My babe and I are are going to playdate houston weekend after next. Yay! I've never been. It should be fun!

I feel like writing a poem...I may want to hop to it.

Going to work on making this my daily action plan:

Above and beyond

A little extra effort can bring your life to a much higher level.

Once you've done what must be done, do a little more. The distance you must travel to get from ordinary to outstanding is not really that far. Yet the benefits of going that extra distance are enormous.

You have something very special and original to give to life. Let the best that you are flow out from you with every effort, in every situation.

There is an abundance to which you're already connected. Do the work and put forth the commitment to fully express that abundance through the outcomes you achieve. The opportunity to make a difference is one of life's greatest blessings.

Seize that opportunity and live it with every breath you take. Know the magnificent joy that effort can bring, and you'll always be eager for more.

Go above and beyond, and you'll find it to be a truly wonderful place. -- Ralph Marston

Quote for the day:

To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end in life. -Robert Louis Stevenson





Much love and many blessings!!

Are You Living Simply??

Feeling good today! Almost over this cold...yay God! Thinking quite positive for the '09! Cleaned my house....yes! Need to donate some more stuff.



Been thinking about my anxiety about money and it stresses me too much. Have always been a person who loves nature and being self sufficient. So I figure it is time to get back to it. Been reading up on voluntary simplicity and simply living. You should check it out.

Here are some sites/blogs I came across:
http://adventuresinvoluntarysimplicity.blogspot.com/

http://frugalforlife.blogspot.com/2008/11/updated-25-ways-i-save-money.html


I have been doing things like shopping at half price books, renting movies from the library, researching free classes and free events, using coupons, cooking at home, taking shorter showers ect. Need to stick closer to my budget though! lol



What about you??

Randomnesses of Today the Last of 08!

Sooo I think I am getting a sore throat and it SUCKS! I hate losing my voice man. Guess God is trying to tell me something....If you don't use it you will lose it...
I'm thinking about joining Toastmasters. What do you guys think?
You know what I don't like about relationships....having to be mature! Dang it!! uhhh. lol
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! Tis the season!
I think I don't perform so I won't have haters.... :-/
'09 is going to be different and much better dang it! I have been in this comfortable valley for farrrr too long!!
You know what, I have alot a poems! Yay me.
I love music! I'm gonna marry it! lol
I was in a wedding on Sunday (my first)...used to be allergic to those things...lol. But forreal it was beautiful :)
I so want to get the internet at home...but can I afford it?
Hope I find something fun to do for New Years...


From my boy Rizalph!

Now is Your Moment

It is now, and now is different. Even though you may have experienced an overwhelming amount of disappointment in the past, the past is over.
Perhaps you've failed again and again. Now is different.
That was then and this is now. Now you have the opportunity to move forward.
Now you can do what you've never been able to do before. Now you can follow through on the things you've been unable or unwilling to do in the past.
Now is your moment to live. Now is the time to act.
Now is when you can truly make a difference. Stand up, step forward and live.

-- Ralph Marston


**Current '09 quotes that I read today:**

A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
Your vision becomes clear when you look inside your heart.
You become what you think about.
A bird does not sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.

Love those!


HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!!! STEP YOUR GAME UP AND MAKE THIS A GOOD ONE!


GOD BLESS!

I Want to Hop on the Beach!!

I just want to go somewhere where I can breathe some warm healing heavenly sunshine in and replace this sorrow that I am feeling

Ahhh man.................I WANT TO GO TO THE BEACH DANG IT!!

I was talking to my homeboy yesterday and he said it sounded like I was doing some poetry. LOL! I had to change my speech then. lol that is a trip.

To my fellow texans....and everybody else...
HAPPY JUNETEENTH! :D

Dracula's Wedding- Outkast

You're all i've ever wanted, but i'm terrified of you

My castle may be haunted, but i'm terrified of you

I've cast my spell on millions, but i'm terrified of you

Baby i do this from the ceiling, but i'm terrified of you

[bridge]I wait my whole life to bite the right one

Then you come along and that freaks me out

So i'm frightened..(oh!).....Dracula's wedding

I've never ran from no one, but i'm terrified of you

See my heartbeat is a slow one, but i'm terrified of you

I've been around for ages, but i'm terrified of you

Put my fang across the stage, but yet i'm terrified of you....

I am SOOOOOOO feeling this right about now...lol

I may be thinking a little too much of myself right now but uh...

What are you really afraid of ????

Lol. (Inside joke :) )

Enough about my crazy mind set right now. Have a lovely day people!

Reason, Season, or a Lifetime...Man I want a Vacation! lol

Despite this craziness going on, I got to go visit my folks for the holiday. Needed a few more days! Lol.

But it was wonderful. :)
So good to see my beautiful neice's face. Filled my chest with honor and love, replacing the sadness. Thank God for family. I appreciate them so much more right now.

Guess that is why God takes us through the storms...to appreciate things in life more. And through it all I am grateful.
Grateful that I am not allowing myself to become vengeful. Though I want to SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD!!! The devil is knocking on my door. Do you hear me!!??

But in order to have what I have never had, I must be able to do what I have never done. SO
I think instead of what I am blessed with and the fact that I have to accept what I can't change. If I try to, it will only make my life worse. Which wouldn't be too smart at all.

Things in life change, people leave, things leave. It may break your heart, threathen to break your spirit; but that is how life goes. Have to accept and swallow the pain and all it to run it's course or it could kill you. For real. Use those lessons to become a better you. Peace out!

Ready to go...

Want to tell you guys about my trip and how much I enjoyed it, but not feeling too well right now. Yet, I still feel happy.
Guess that is what is stopping me from feeling worse than I do now. God is indeed good.
Hopefully I will make it home safely. Let me stop playing.
Anyway, Will hit you guys up about the trip later.

Smile and have a good weekend.

Happy Memorials!!

I am feeling a bit better today.

THANK GOD! lol

Thank God for good friends.

I'm still a little sad though.

But that will go away in time I guess.

Time to watch Grey's Anatomy!

Have a good weekend/holiday people!!

Dance the night away! lol. And live each day like it's your last! For real, you should try it.

Love ya!