Reason, Season, or a Lifetime...Man I want a Vacation! lol

Despite this craziness going on, I got to go visit my folks for the holiday. Needed a few more days! Lol.

But it was wonderful. :)
So good to see my beautiful neice's face. Filled my chest with honor and love, replacing the sadness. Thank God for family. I appreciate them so much more right now.

Guess that is why God takes us through the storms...to appreciate things in life more. And through it all I am grateful.
Grateful that I am not allowing myself to become vengeful. Though I want to SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD!!! The devil is knocking on my door. Do you hear me!!??

But in order to have what I have never had, I must be able to do what I have never done. SO
I think instead of what I am blessed with and the fact that I have to accept what I can't change. If I try to, it will only make my life worse. Which wouldn't be too smart at all.

Things in life change, people leave, things leave. It may break your heart, threathen to break your spirit; but that is how life goes. Have to accept and swallow the pain and all it to run it's course or it could kill you. For real. Use those lessons to become a better you. Peace out!

Let it Flow...

Thank you so much to those who have been praying for me. I am very grateful.

I am realizing that I must give people space to forgive themselves and build the courage to start a healthy relationship with me. I can't force it.
It takes two baby! :)
(Hopefully now there will be more pleaseant posts! ;))


A few more quotes:

The illiterate of the twenty-first century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. ~Alvin Toffler

Habit is habit, and not to be flung out the window, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time. ~Mark Twain


Spread Love.

Where My Head Is At...

Been trying to ignore this feeling, but God is bugging me to face it. When a member of your fam acts as though they don't love you, it hurts. Deep. No matter how tough you appear to be, it still hurts.
I have been trying to keep my mind clear and be positive. Trying not to clamp up and isolate myself...again (like I always do). Don't want to mess up my current relationship.
But to tell the truth, I am PISSED. P-I-S-S-E-D.
I am angry because I am letting another person have this kind of affect on me.
Made me feel like I am a little girl yearning for his praise...acceptance...yet again.
Wish I was beyond that.
I don't want to give up on our relationship....but dang!

I just don't know what to do.
Keep putting myself in harms way or what?
Lord Lord...

A Few Quotes I am feelin:

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

~Eleanor Roosevelt

Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.

~G.K. Chesterton


Be blessed.

On the flip side...

Yep I'm back! But with a less positive outlook than my previous post.
family will teach you some things man...

This too shall pass...But when is the question..!???
Some people are so cruel. I can't even begin to logically understand how people can be this way...How can you be so cruel to your own blood. Your own family. I just don't understand it man. I never want to hurt anyone the way that I have been hurt. NEVER.
Thank you God for the wake up call on what NOT to be. Thank you oh so much...

This too shall pass. I shall over come. Have to rethink some things...

I will fight the good fight. Not lay down and take the easy route.

What's Going On

I am so glad to be in the company of family who love me despite of myself. It is such a good feeling that I have been missing for so long. I am definately enjoying myself and the time with my oh so crazy family. :)
Just makes me further realize that too much pride really doesn't need to be present in my life.
Also, that some people will never change until God just about forces them to. I hate that, but some people are too stuck on themselves to wake up and change on their own. Oh well, have to let people live their own live and make their own mistakes. Not matter how bad they may be. I am so grateful to have a loving family. Thank you God. Their love fills the gap for those who don't.

A few very appicable quotes:

If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you. ~The Gnostic Gospels
This is soooooo true.

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. ~Albert Einstein

Anything in life that we don’t accept will simply make trouble for us until we make peace with it. ~Shakti Gawain

To begin anew, we must say goodbye to who we once were. ~Anonymous

What would you do if you weren't afraid? ~Spencer Johnson Think about it, then do it!

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.

I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. ~Rabbi Hillel

Let those you love know it before it is too late!!

Live purposefully.