Thursday, July 31, 2008

To Heal or Not to Heal...

Sooo I have a few friends that are dealing with breakups and such (like myself) and I have heard several things. All guys lie and cheat no matter how much I improve on myself, they will still lie and cheat (which I still believe to some extent, sad I know). People saying they are tired of getting played for a fool. People saying they give up they quit and they want to close their heart up.
Man this is used to resinate so much with me a few years ago.
But I have grown SO much. I am so grateful for it. Thank you God.

Don't get me wrong, I still have my days when I wanted to rip his throat out and I still get angry.
But the level of stubborness towards being angry and resentful isn't at the same level that is was before. Instead of running to that dark and comfortable place...Isn't it wierd how habits that are uncomfortable can become 'comfortable' because you are used to them?

Anyway, instead of running to that angry place, I have reached for a healing place. And that mess is HARD. But I said I was going to grow the $#^& up and step into the place that God wants me to be in. That is a place of healing. He never said it would be easy, and it is not. However, when I began to really look at myself and my past relationship I realize there are certain things I wasn't getting on a basic level. I can't date the same time of guy anymore, his mind set has to be on a higher and deeper level. I now appreciate men who understand me (and women) just on a basic level. Who don't go crazy when they don't understand, who take it just as it is if they never figure it out. Lol. But seriously, I can truly respect that. Maturity is so under rated. Just like people think someone has book sense, common sense comes along with it....NOT SO PEOPLE. Lol.

Anyways(again, lol), seems like I deepened the womb would I would get angry and stay angry after a break up. Not looking for a solution but just looking at the negatives, in the guy and myself. Don't get me wrong I have looked at those this time also, but that is not my dwelling place. My dwelling place is in a place that allows me to heal and open my mind to be optimistic for the next time God brings someone into my life. Also to know what to look for that I may have OVER LOOKED before.
Seems like I was too nice this time around and dealt with things I should not have put up with for so long. But that's aight, lessons learned...Time to get this application together and make sure my stats match the stats I'm looking for in my next starting!

Peace ya'll.


Pajnstl said...

i love your attitude You are a true example of how to really live as a christian. I just don't get the bitterness that COULD be there.


MysTery said...

AWW! Thank you SO much!

(hugging back lol)

Crunchy said...

Thank you.... I never looked at it that way. I really needed to hear this cause I was having a moment myself.(refer to the blog)

The Diva's Thoughts said...

Getting past the pain and anger is so very hard. I had a hard time of that when I separated from my husband several years ago. Once I let go of all that anger I never felt freer.

It may sound wierd but one day I was thinking, "I am tired of all this anger and pain. Just let it go!" and once I did that, OH MY GOODNESS how freeing that was.

James Tubman said...

thanx for this post mys

i just got through a big break up myself

im going to post something on how to choose the right partner soon

i just dont know why it is so hard for people to stay together in this day and age

you can have all the ingrediants and still not make a good meal i guess

its something that we really have to work out

MysTery said...

No prob Crunch.

Yes, Ms. Diva and I am ready to spread my wings...tonight! lol

No prob Jtub. People don't make it because they don't want to. Bottom line. Relationships are WORK. It's hard to deal with yourself on the daily, what makes people think it is going to be easy to deal with someone else too? Just crazy.

Looking forward to the post sir!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

never resort to throaT RIPPPING

Moanerplicity said...

I agree. Relationships are a 24/7 gig. And it takes BOTH parties involved to put in that overtime... or else something essential suffers.

You have the right 'tude. Keep steppin' your you head up, your heart open, & your eyes on the real Prize.


Don said...

It's all about the STATS I see. Definitely need starter material and not bench warmer. LOL.

Seriously I enjoyed this read. It seems like I could have easily written it sometime last year when I had to go through those painful breakup emotions to reach a place of healing. It takes awhile and alot of 'second guessing' but, as you wrote, soon the healing begins and we get the chance to experience love and heartbreak all over again.

Isn't that THE life. LOL.

arychtexas said...

that place of healing....some times i just pray and pray for people and myself and i know he hears me and i know that he is going to get me through it but sometimes i just want to hear his voice...maybe that will scare me more than help me but when you are down you always want to hear see or feel something that makes you chipper up you know...sorry if i rambled

MysTery said...

Don you hush!! LOL crazy self.
But yeah, that's life can only choose to look at it as a positive and not a negative.

And Tex thanks for stopping by. Don't think I would want to hear Him speak to me directly, maybe through another person...cause if He did, it would scare the MESS out of me!

DJ Black Adam said...

"All guys lie and cheat no matter how much I improve on myself, they will still lie and cheat (which I still believe to some extent, sad I know)."

Not true (well aside from the fact that all PEOPLE lie at some time.

There are faithful people out there, I am sure God will lead some lucky man to you soon!

MysTery said...

Awww, thanks dj. :)

And yeah all people do lie.

Don said...


shelia said...

The end of a relationship is like mourning someone's death in a sense. You're used to the person being a part of your life but for whatever reason things don't work out and you break up. You're going to go through an onset of various emotions--allow yourself to feel them but just don't wallow in them.

You probably wasn't too nice but just being a genuine good person. Just because that person didn't appreciate your kindness, don't allow it to stop you from being you. Yes be more cautious but still be you.

MysTery said...

:) Thank Shelia, I will keep that in mind.

FullComplexity said...

wow. i don't know how i stumbled across your blog, but i'm so glad i did. i'm dealing with the same issue right now. i'm trying so hard to NOT let my past interfere with my present situation. it's hard....

aoc gold said...
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